Mayor Jack Wins...Again! Lord Jack Wins! Story By Rub WoodHard Story by Rub Woodhard

 

Mayor Jacks Campaign workers on the jobIn a totally predictable fashion Mayor Jack has handily won the this terms elections. It was slow going there with so many contenders in the running up until the final bell. But in a stunningly decisive move Mayor Jack's crack political team , consisting of Heckler Jive, Sister Mary Melvina and the forces of the vessel Himself, VooDoo, emissary of Bast and Lolly, took out the remaining contenders in what will forever be known in MelveVille as The Days of Blood.

Last seen menacing shadows with garden implements on her way to the Nuthouse...I mean Rest FacilityThe Lord High Mayor Extends his deepest Condolences to his worthy opponentsPrincess PussPrint, the only survivor of the campaign was sent to The Saint Mary of Bethlehem Foundation for rest and recuperation. It is sad to see this once proud figure sent to rest, as we all know none ever returns from Saint Mary's. It seems that Mayor Jack wisely allowed the Princess to survive in a bid to force the Clans to keep the gateways and transit routes open. It is known that her companions Puke Skymucker, No-Hands Solo and a Large Fur Rug were all cruxified this morning in the Lord Mayors Rose Garden

The First step in the creation of Violent Mourning Heckler Jive now under suspicion of Sedition in the Matter of the Execution of Violet MorningMayor Jack's evil Minion Heckler Jive Head of the MelveVille Board of Education, Legalities and Mind Control removed Violent Mourning from the running by inducing Exhedren Headache #409 through the means of a large caliber hand weapon Violent Mourning late of the Pink Peace Party was a known mouthpiece for Snarfy Industries and Damien Demonicus . Watch out for a reaction from the Snarfy Industries Faction.

 

Poke the Brain for a Dollar?It is rumored that Nelson Walkers Brain is kept in a Galactic Labs SustainoVat on Sister Mary Melvina's bedside table. The SustainoVat is the latest model featuring Audio/Video In and Out, Id modifiers and electrod's hooked up to a crank telephone for behavior modification. Brain tissue is guaranteed for 100+ years (conciousness can only be guaranteed for 50 years). The Loyalist Party is pleased to announce the hiring of Nelson Walker as Politcal Advisor, considering Brain stored vats have no control over their own thought processes the wealth of insider knowledge gained over the Society of Adam could be immense.

 

What further upheavals this will cause to the political infrastructure of MelveVille is unknown at this time, but it is fair to say that Mayor Jack and The Loyalist Party have won an overwhelming Landslide and their control will be difficult to dispute.

This is Rub Woodhard reporting from the mayor's Pleasure palace.